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Monday, June 2nd, 2008
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12:40p - My Indiana Jones script...
[12:23] enamon23: Remember how, when the first rumours of it were coming out and they got rid of the first scriptwriter you said it was a good thing because his script had UFOs in it?
[12:23] enamon23: REMEMBER?1??!?!?!
[12:23] enamon23: WHO'S YOUR GOD NOW?!?!?!?!
[12:24] enamon23: Anyway, I swear that whole "survive a nuke blast by hiding in a lead lined fridge" thing was lifted straight out of the first draft of the first Back To The Future script.
[12:25] enamon23: My idea was better. Nazis piloting man made flying saucers.
[12:25] enamon23: No crystal skulls or cheesy alien tourists.
[12:25] enamon23: But if I had to go with commies I'd go with Boris and Natasha
[12:25] enamon23: or at least I would make the psychic chick actually do psychic stuff.
[12:26] IlyaAOHELL: yeah, I was not impressed
[12:27] enamon23: I wish they'd make us Russkies more cartoonish.
[12:27] enamon23: We just seemed so... plain in that movie.
[12:27] IlyaAOHELL: it was a very good summer blockbuster-type movie, but a bad Indiana Jones movie... it won't be considered a classic like the others
[12:27] enamon23: the aliens should've left by whistling tones like in Close Encounters
[12:27] enamon23: but then they should've incinerated most of Peru like in War of the Worlds
[12:28] enamon23: It was E.T.'s skull, btw.
[12:28] enamon23: Except in this case the kid's bicycle was a 50's Harley chopper.
[12:28] enamon23: I should write the next Indy Jones script. I already have the title.
[12:29] enamon23: Indiana Jones and Jesus.
[12:29] enamon23: It takes place in the 60s.
[12:29] enamon23: That's all I'm going to reveal.
[12:29] enamon23: Oh and Mutt becomes a Beatnick.
[12:30] enamon23: *Beatnik.
[12:31] enamon23: And the source of Indiana Jones's fear of slithering serpents is revealed.
[12:32] enamon23: When he was three he inadvertantly saw his father's penis. He's been afraid of snakes ever since.
[12:33] IlyaAOHELL: stop raping my childhood!
[12:35] enamon23: Hmm... you're a good friend of mine so... I might as well give you the basic premise of the script in a nutshell. The "plot" of it, if you will.
[12:37] enamon23: Basically, Jesus stops by and asks Indy for help. Apparently Jesus isn't the messiah or whatnot. The real thing is Jesus's brother - Bob Christ. And he's been kidnapped. My Mao Tse-tung.
[12:37] enamon23: *By Mao Tse-tung.
[12:38] enamon23: Oh and Jackie Chan's in this one too. He plays that Asian kid from The Temple Of Doom. He's all grown up now and helps Indy.
[12:41] IlyaAOHELL: "Dr. Jonesss!!!"
[12:41] IlyaAOHELL: I want to scream that out in a high-pitched voice anytime I see an asian child
(comment on this)
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