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Sunday, November 25th, 2007
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1:39a - I'm bored.
Terrible things to say to dust mites who hide in their corner and watch you with their beady antennae. Whispering false rumours about you on your pillow while you sleep. They are legion and crawling all over your bed. You can't get away. Insult them with matches. They point and laugh. It's really pathetic.
What you really have to do (in order to get their attention). Is to douse your whole bedspread with gasoline. Bedsheets and all. Pillows and late night books and cookie crumbs that lie there in denial. Just cover everything. Then light the damned thing. Watch it all burn away. Dust mites and all. It's the only way to be safe.
Allow no one to see you do this. Always leave a time span of a few minutes in order to get away. Make sure your eyebrows aren't singed. A face bald and completely hairless leaves one open for suspicion and makes for easy memorization by witnesses. "His face was completely devoid of follicles. Even his eyebrows were missing. He didn't even bother penciling them in or anything. I guess he didn't have a steady hand."
Always make sure you have a steady hand.
Always make sure that once you decide to go through with this that you will, in fact and quite definitely, go through with this.
Make sure you are wearing underwear. It is the last line of defense for your netherlands.
Make sure your hair is degreased. If possible, wear a hairnet.
Stand back 3.178 yards from the action.
Have your passport and visa in check.
Inhale through your nose, exhale through your mouth.
That's the only advice I can give you right now. Now tell me... what is it you initially wanted to know?
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2:25a - Sergey's Philosophy (One of them).
(1:41:22 AM) jhy: enamon. i wanted to get you or your brothers opinion on the arrest of kasparov
(1:41:27 AM) jhy: oh, and how have you been?
(1:41:51 AM) Me: I've been good. Eating, drinking, sleeping. The usual.
(1:42:08 AM) Me: Leo's asleep right now so I guess his opinion would be the sound of one hand snoring.
(1:42:13 AM) jhy: haha
(1:42:40 AM) jhy: I think this is big news
(1:42:46 AM) jhy: he predicted himself that it would happen
(1:48:12 AM) Me: Putin's just consolidating power right now.
(1:48:22 AM) Me: Just like everyone else.
(1:48:25 AM) jhy: Indeed.
(1:48:33 AM) jhy: It's scary how much it is mirrored here as well
(1:50:49 AM) Me: It's because humans run everything. People always think that changing a leader, an institution, or other form of control over themselves will inevitably and miraculously change things for the better as if with the flick of a switch. No one wants to admit the part that their own humanity plays in everything. Once people learn to live with themselves they'll realize that all the insitutions they've built up or that were put over them were and are staffed and run by people. And then they'll treat it like the rash, logical, insane, jealous, cool, controlling, mad people that we all are.
(1:57:13 AM) jhy: True.
(1:57:21 AM) jhy: Dismantle the institution?
(1:57:28 AM) jhy: I agree that current day systems do not work.
(1:57:37 AM) jhy: Total refinement needs to happen.
(2:04:47 AM) Me: It's not the institution. It's people. No matter what institution you come up with. No matter what plan it will eventually fail. Because people blame structures and organizations. They can't accept that no matter what change will occur that PEOPLE will be in charge. No real change can occur until the mindset of the entire people changes.
(2:05:19 AM) jhy: interesting
(2:05:34 AM) Me: You can look through history
(2:06:03 AM) Me: There have been countless variations of governments, companies, and various other ruling organizations.
(2:06:28 AM) Me: The problem is usually blamed on the actual organization. Not the people.
(2:06:39 AM) Me: And "people" does not mean populace.
(2:08:33 AM) Me: People fail to realize that it's a psychological thing. That if a person is placed for a long enough time in a situation where he will have to shift his perspective and start relying on a preset mechanism for observing and interacting with his outside environment he will consistantly change himself in order to work in that environment. And during that change, any particular quirks and intricacies of one's personality which usually lie suppressed become apparent and evolved and begin to play a large role in one's doings.
(2:10:46 AM) jhy: right
(2:10:49 AM) jhy: nature vs nuture
(2:14:59 AM) Me: The great flaw is assuming that there is a system that works. No system, when left to its own devices will work. The only major difference in systems (other than organization) is responsibility. The difference is not of quality. The difference between a dictatorship and a democracy is that in the former the responsibility lies on the dictator and if anything goes wrong the populace can blame the dictator. In the latter if anything goes wrong the populace can blame themselves. This happens rarely. Hence the constant push towards democracy. However the real factor in the quality of government is interaction. If one leaves a democratic government to its own devices that government will eventually become bloated and corrupt due to the fact that it is run by people ("humans" is a better term). And humans, as numerous psychological and sociological studies have shown, tend to (on average) behave in certain peculiar and regularly illogical ways. It's more apparent in a dictatorship and less apparent in a democracy. But it does, eventually, become apparent nonetheless. The difference is the rate. The system eventually begins to act like the humans running it. In a dictatorship only one human is running it and thus the apparence of it is clear and vivid. In a democracy the system is run by a group of thousands. Eventually it becomes one large warring, consuming mass.
(2:16:30 AM) Me: What is the solution? The solution is to realize that every system, left alone for a long enough time, will eventually act like an entity separate from the populace with its own needs, desires, and whatnots. The trick is to constantly disturb it.
(2:17:49 AM) Me: Not through protests or voting. One must incorporate a system that's built into whatever form of government that is established that constanly removes old laws, destroys party affiliations, and anything else that threatens to become permanent.
(2:18:53 AM) Me: The only permanent thing that should exist is a declaration of rights. However a declaration of rights is not part of a government. It is simply a reminder to the populace that if any of those rights are continuously violated that the system in place has failed completely and needs to be reconsidered. It is, in fact, a guidestick.
(2:20:46 AM) Me: A declaration of rights can not in any way guarantee one's rights. One's rights can only be guaranteed by the possession of power. One can believe that one has the freedom of speech but if one is on the wrong end of a rifle he or she suddenly finds that, although the Bill of Rights, guarantees freedom of speech the only way to truly guarantee it is to possess personal power. Hence the need for a second amendment.
(2:21:13 AM) Me: So to tie this to the situations in Russia and the US.
(2:22:19 AM) Me: Say Putin is kicked out. Say the entire system is overhauled. The only guarantee of the proper order and behaviour of whatever government replaces the previous one is constant vigilance on behalf of the populace.
(2:22:26 AM) Me: Same here in the US.
(2:24:38 AM) Me: The people who you put into office are just like the people you see everyday on the street. They may wear ties and million dollar grins and PhDs and fraternity rings but they still possess the same irrational fears, insecurities, angers, and emotions that we all do. Unfortunately their brains are linked to a structure of power and thus have a much greater chance of affecting the outside world.
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3:04a - Sidenote.
...
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3:11a
walking on november leaves
in the dead of night
lit by the moon
that sits still
in the darkness of the night
that hangs like weary curtains
on branches of naked trees
spreading their arms wide
in defiance of age and gravity
as if to yell out
i will not be beaten down
i will not let the cold take me
i will survive until the warmer months
when i will bloom again
of course the situation remains silent
i keep walking
and crush their babies underfoot
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3:19a
It was late and he was bored so he fashioned a vagina in a cake that he made. And, soon after, he made best use of it. When he was finished he stood back and admired his handy work. I should've gone easy on the red frosting, he thought. Then he remembered he hadn't used any red frosting at all. He looked down. OH SWEET JESUS, I NEED A DOCTOR!
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9:24p - The Rev. Bruce Howard
Before:
After:
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10:40p - IT IS FINE! EVERYTHING IS FINE.
I happened to see this film on Friday at the IFC Waverly Theatre. Before the start Crispin Glover performed a slideshow/reading of eight of his books. The film followed, followed by a Q&A session. I highly enjoyed it.
The synopsis? Steven C. Stewart plays Paul Baker, a man crippled by cerebral palsy and obsessed with long hair (which is also true of the actor), who has sex with numerous women and then kills them. It's funny, dramatic, sad, and pretty damn awesome. Although the best part of the movie, in my mind, is the musical score.
Last showing in NYC is on Tuesday the 27th! This will NOT be available on DVD quite possibly for many years to come so I recommend that anyone who can head over to the IFC theatre and see it.
Movie site: http://www.crispinglover.com/it_is_fine!.htm
IFC Theatre: http://www.ifccenter.com/
FORWARD to movie by Steven C. Stewart (With original spelling)
This movie is not really about sex or even a cereal killer. No. This movie tends to look deep inside the heart and mind of a severally handicapped young man. (A handicap starts out from birth. A disability happens later on in life). A very intelligent and ambitious 34-Year-old man who had to fight for everything all of his life. After finding the woman of his dreams, a woman he could really love, then to have that woman reject him was more than he could stand. It was enough too drive him over the edge.
This movie is to show that these people can have feelings too. Feelings of good and ill. And when circumstances become more than they can take they too can go over the edge.
AFTERWARD to movie by Steven C. Stewart (With original spelling)
Thank you for coming and watching this movie. By doing so you as my audience helped me accomplish what I have wanted to do, show that a person which a severe handicap and disabilities have feeling to and sometimes can go over the edge.
In 1937 when I was born people like this were kept in a back room, or placed in an institution and forgotten. If this movie had been shown at that time it would be sacrilegious. It was felt that these poor misfortunate people were sweet things without thoughts or feelings and could do no wrong. It wasn’t until twenty- five years ago that they started being accepted as human beings.
I have never killed anyone and never intend too. However, I have taken many intendances from my own life and built the story around them.
Thank you for being a participant.
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