|
|
Thursday, July 26th, 2007
|
2:15p
This is great: Peanuts by Charles Bukowski.
(comment on this)
|
2:20p - More crap.
Ugh I can't write.
I think I'm getting stupider.
No. Scratch that. I know I'm getting stupider.
Becoming more and more dumbed down every day.
When I was younger I used to know so much shit.
I could talk for hours and go off on all sorts of wild tangents. Mixing conspiracy theories with quantum physics interpolated with H.P. Lovecraft and the like. I could tell you how build a bomb, tap a phone line, pick a lock, get into the subway for free, shoplift from stores, make DMT, modify firearms, etc. etc. etc.
If I didn't know the details I knew where and how to get the details. And I knew where to go to to find out about things that I didn't know existed.
Now look at me. Spending half my day braindead at work. Sleeping on the commute. Sleeping at home. Barely conscious at all during the course of the entire day. Day in and day out.
God, I'm so fucking glad I used to cut school. Imagine how much worse I'd be now if I'd started to turn stupid earlier on.
My mind feels like it's dying.
I'm twenty four moving onto a quarter century old. I still live with my parents. My biggest hobby is passing out in strange positions on my fold out bed. People younger than me have conquered Europe. I feel so very old. And always tired.
I've got to get out. I've got to find the time my younger self cracked a hole in my spine and crawled out memories, dreams, ambitions and all.
Right now I know how the dead walk. And it's slow and languid and boring.
And I know some people will say that at least I've a job and that at least I'm "safe". But how can one be "safe" if one is withering away? This isn't safety. It's dying in the mind.
(4 comments |comment on this)
|
2:58p
http://www.marriedtothesea.com
Thanks to ![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif) ilyag for the link.
(1 comment |comment on this)
|
|
|
|
